1.A COURT AWARDS
DAMAGES AGAINST A BEAR
The case: A court in
Macedonia heard the case of a beekeeper who was a little out of pocket. He
claimed that a local bear had been sneaking into his hives and stealing honey.
The beekeeper claimed that he tried to distract the bear with lights and music,
but without success.
The verdict: Believe
it or not, the court awarded in favour of the beekeeper. Although the bear was
excused from attending court, he was ordered to pay 140,000 denars (£1,700) for
the damage caused to the hives. Because the bear had no owner and, presumably,
no money, the government stumped up the cash instead.
2.ENTERTAINMENT TO
SNAKES:A VALID DEFENSE
The case: A driver
was given a parking penalty for leaving her car outside a building with the
engine running. Her excuse was that she had a carful of snakes, which she was
going to use for her belly-dancing act. She didn’t want the snakes to fall
asleep in a cold car, so the running engine helped them stay awake ready for
the act.
The verdict: The
court ruled that she had good reason to leave her engine on, and let the
belly-dancing snake charmer walk free.
3. TEACHER SUES
STUDENTS FOR BEING BORED IN CLASS
The case: A teacher
at Dartmouth College is filing a lawsuit against her own students, because she
claims that they have violated her civil liberties. Priya Venkatesan claims
that the students were so unreceptive of her “French narrative theory” that
their attitude made for a ‘hostile working environment.’
The verdict: The case
has not yet been heard, but if the teacher wins it could set an interesting
precedent. Make sure you’re polite to your teachers from now on!
4. A CASE SEEKING TO
GIVE A CHIPANZEE EQUAL RIGHTS TO HUMANS
The case: Animal
activists in Austria caused problems for the legal system when they tried to
get Hiasl – a chimpanzee – legally declared a person. After Hiasl’s animal
sanctuary went bankrupt, the activists wanted to support him. Unfortunately,
donations that have been offered to support the chimp can only legally be
received by a person. In case anyone worries that declaring Hiasl a person
could cause legal issues, one of the activists makes things a bit clearer:
"We want him to have the right to life, the right to not be tortured, the
right to freedom under certain conditions. We're not talking about the right to
vote here."
The verdict: The
court dismissed the case, having decided that it couldn’t go ahead anyway. They
recognised that, person or not, as Hiasl was not mentally handicapped he could
not have the activists make court claims on his behalf. The activists are
planning to take the case to the European Court of Human Rights.
5. GUY SUES TV FOR
MAKING HIS WIFE FAT
The case: Timothy
Dumouchel, a couch potato from Wisconsin, tried to sue a cable TV company in
2004. His argument was that it was the TV company’s fault that his wife was
fat. He also claimed that they had turned his children into "lazy channel
surfers." He requested damages of around £2500, but said he’d settle for
three computers and a lifetime of free internet service.
The verdict: After
pressure from the cable company, Dumouchel eventually dropped his claim. It was
suggested that he and his family could simply have “chosen to watch something
enlightening, perhaps even while exercising.”
6. A PANT MORE COSTLY
THAN A FERRARI
Power corrupts, and
absolute legal power makes you retarded. Thus, Judge Roy Pearson launched a
lunatic legal siege on a dry cleaners over a lost pair of pants, claiming $67
million compensation. If you just said, "$67 dollars? Those must have been
some nice pants!" then you should know that you skipped a word.
Clearly these $67
million pants were stitched from the Turin Shroud using threads picked from the
canvas of the Mona Lisa. To reclaim his loss, Pearson adapted the legal system
into a game of "hunt the poor people," pursuing the immigrant owners
of Custom Cleaners for over two years.
Pearson claims the
cleaners lost the pants to a $1,000 suit. They claimed they found them later
that week, but he disagreed. They then offered him $12,000 compensation, but he
demanded the more reasonable figure of $67 million, which we've repeated a
number of times now in case your eyes blocked it out before to protect your
sanity.
After two full years
of everyone on the planet telling him he was totally insane, he lowered the
claim. To $54 million. You might recognize that as 50,000 times the cost of the
original item, which he claimed accounted for his inconvenience and mental
anguish. The legal fees ($80,000) nearly drove the cleaners back to South Korea
until a community effort raised the money to pay the bill. Which means that,
holy shit, Roy Pearson is the villain from a Disney movie.
He lost the case, lost
his job as an Administrative Law Judge, was divorced by his wife, and faces
bankruptcy. Upon realizing he'd become the star of a heavy-handed parable,
Peterson apologized to the world and said he'd learned valuable lesson about
the evils of materialism and the availability of more pants. Ha, no, not
really. He filed for the court to reconsider the decision, and when they
refused, he launched a full appeal.
7. A 19 YEAR OLD SUED
BY A 77 YEAR OLD FOR REFUSAL TO GIVE IN TO SEX
Playboy Rolf Eden
sued a teenager for ageism in 2007 as she would not sleep with him.
German strip club
owner Eden, right, then 77, was turned down by Katharina Weiss, 19, after
wooing her with champagne.
Eden claimed to have
bedded up to 3,000 women. Before dropping the lawsuit, he said: “It was
shattering. No woman ever said that to me before.”
8. MAN SUES WIFE FOR
GIVING HIM SEX ONLY ONCE A WEEK
David Mason, 30, took
his own wife Brenda, 31, to court after she rationed sex to once a week because
she was scared of getting pregnant for a third time.
Mr Mason, a mechanic
from Basingstoke, Hants, initially won his case in 1980.
But he lost on appeal
when judges decided no court could rule that Brenda was being unreasonable.
9. GOD BREACHED THE BAPTISMAL CONTRACT
Murderer Pavel Mircea
tried to sue God for
breach of contract, claiming the Almighty reneged on the deal made at his
baptism.
“He was supposed to
protect me from all evils and instead he gave me to Satan who encouraged me to
kill,” he said.
Mircea, 40, serving
20 years, said God had accepted his prayers.
In 2007 he demanded
reimbursement for what he’d spent on religious goods and offerings.
Romanian judges
rejected the case, ruling that God is not a person in the eyes of the law and
has no legal address where he could be served with papers.
10.UNIVERSITY SUED
FOR SUSPENDING A STUDENT HAVING A 'SMELLY FEET'
Teunis Tenbrook’s professors and fellow students at Erasmus University, Rotterdam, said it was impossible to concentrate due to the whiff.
After a 10-year legal
battle, a judge ruled in 2009 it was no reason to expel him and said: “They
must hold their noses.”
11. A BOY CHARGED AS
AN ADULD BASED ON THE SIZE OF HIS GENITALS
When does a boy
become a man in the eyes of the law? In one Russian courtroom, it apparently
depends at least partially on the size of your genitals.
A boy suspected of
theft, whose family claims is only 13 years old, is set to be tried as an adult
after an examination of his teeth and his genitals led doctors to believe he
was actually between 16 and 17, a Russian newspaper reports. In Russia, the age
of criminal responsibility is 16, according to The Moscow Times.
While the Russian
judge's way of assessing age may be questionable, how do courts in America
decide when to try juveniles as adultS?
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